Do You Sudoku?

Sudoku. Such a simple word has become a cultural phenomenon. Literally translated from Japanese, "su" means "number" and "doku" means "single" (and in case you're one of the thousands of people who pretend like they know how to say the word, it's pronounced Sue-dock-ooo...and "ooo" is pronounced like a cow's moo, in case that wasn't clear). Hundreds of Sudoku books and magazines have been printed, newspapers have adopted Sudoku as their puzzle-of-choice, television shows have joked about its addictive nature...Sudoku has officially landed in America.

"But CJ, how do I play Sudoku? Do I need to understand complex math or advanced logic to play this interesting puzzle game?" Well, innocent blog reader (and Mr. Cooper, who has admitted his ignorance in the ways of Sudoku), the simple answer is no, considering you don't even need to understand the number system to understand how the game is played. Of course, the more complicated answer is, while you don't need to know math and logic to complete the puzzle, in order to do the harder puzzles, having a background in math and, more importantly, logical deduction will definitely help you. Here are the instructions...

[Place every digit from 1 - 9, in any order, into each row (left to right), each column (top to bottom) and each box (of nine squares).]

Seems pretty simple, right? You (and the millions of Americans that piss away there lunch break) wish! The puzzle above is actually an easy one (and if you can't figure it out in under 30 minutes, this game may not be for you). Go ahead, take a shot at it...Did you get it? For your own self-esteem, I hope so.

Unfortunately, there is a dark side to Sudoku. It is very, very, VERY addictive. Plus, it's really addictive. This actually brings me to the main point of this post. I think there may be ill intentions behind the widespread Sudoku obsession in America, ill intentions that date back to December 7th, 1941, "a date which will live in infamy"...the day the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. My fellow Americans, I'm afraid that Sudoku has been confirmed* as a second organized attempt by the Japanese to attack America when and where we least expect it. Their intentions remain a mystery (especially since there is no ongoing world war), however their kamikaze attacks on the free time of millions of Americans are as clear as day. For years, the "intellectuals" have been pointing to Word Jumbles, Twister, and Monopoly as the likely suspects for such an attack, but they couldn't have been more wrong. Stay sharp, America!

* Beyond the irrational thoughts of my brain, there has been no confirmation of Japanese conspiracy with respect to the flourishing of Sudoku in America. Now, Kakuro is an ENTIRELY different story...