Sunday, July 29, 2007

This Is How You Make A Teaser Trailer!


The illumination of an iconic symbol, the voices of characters old and new, the booming dramatic music, the hauntingly familiar laugh...is it 'Summer 2008' yet?!?!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

497...498...499!

Alex Rodriguez hit his 499th home run tonight in yet another Yankee victory over Kansas City, and it turns out that the pitcher he’ll face in tomorrow night’s final game against the Royals was pitching when he achieved his 400th home run.

Could A-Rod’s greatness be any more perfectly timed to drown out the impending news of the record breaking achievement of that other player, the “he who must not be named” of major league baseball?!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Optimus Potter And The Order Of The Autobots

*Since I saw both Transformers and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on the same day, I figured I'd give my reviews of them together...I know, it really doesn't make sense...just play along.

The Good: Transformers is the quintessential summer blockbuster, in a good way. It's fun, it's fast, it's loud, it's car chases, it's robot destruction...it's great! The filmmakers succeeded in taking the source material of a 1980's children's cartoon based on plastic toys and turning it into an exhilarating action movie. Not to mention the visual effects were pretty exceptional, something you still can't take for granted. Speaking of exceptional visuals, Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix had a few amazing spectacles of its own (note to Hollywood: dueling wizard scenes are movie gold; see Lord of the Rings). In terms of the overall movie production, Phoenix delivers where Goblet of Fire failed miserably (most likely thanks to new director, David Yates), namely by more effectively blending the "we're awkward teens" moments with scenes of greater, darker consequence. And finally, there cannot be enough praise given regarding the magical portrayal (pun intended) of the Dolores Umbridge character, played by an amazingly talented Imelda Staunton.

The Bad: The acting and dialogue (and to a lesser degree, the storyline) in Transformers was so over-the-top it was borderline campy (Jon Voight as U.S. Defense Secretary was oh so very painful). Then again, most summer action movies tend to suffer from this "problem" (problem being in quotation marks because many would argue that it's refreshing not to have to think too deeply with a popcorn flick). And, while I no longer think Shia LaBeouf is the worse young actor ever, he's still far from the golden child he's portrayed to be in the media (he'll have another shot to prove me wrong in next year's Indiana Jones IV). On the Order of the Phoenix front, I can't help but feel like some aspects of the Potter movie series are a tad formulaic (Harry miserable at home during summer...Harry has new major problem...Harry feels marginalized...someone plotting against Harry...Harry's friends stand by him...the twist: someone's bad/good...Harry meets Voldemort in last 10 minutes of movie...they fight...Voldemort escapes until later...major character ends up dead...The End). HOWEVER, to be fair, criticisms like these are more appropriately directed at J.K. Rowlings (who, by the way, added the 'K' as an initial to her name to sound more sophisticated...it doesn't stand for anything!) and not at the movie adaptations of her stories.

The Verdict: Tranformers is all about the fun, simple, visceral movie experience meant to be released during the sweltering July heat. And, even if I can't stop thinking about how it's all going to end, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is one of the better, darker entries of the Potter movie series.

The Grade:
Transformers, B
Harry Potter, B+

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Grossed Out By 'Chuck & Larry' $34 Million Gross

How does such a tired, dumb, borderline-homophobic movie with lowest-common-denominator appeal end up as the number one movie of the weekend box office? I guess it has something to do with pairing a shockingly popular fat man of crappy-TV-sitcom fame with a hasn't-really-been-funny-since-the-Billy-Madison-days comedic actor.

Note to Adam Sandler: I think I heard the first flush of the career toilet around Little Nicky, and it's pretty much been flushing ever since (Spanglish, The Longest Yard, Click, and this latest crapfest). There's a slim chance that I maybe, kind of, sort of could have forgiven all of this...and then I found out that Sandler is a card carrying "I just donated to Rudy Giuliani" Republican. Sorry Sandler, but I now pronounce you a total loss.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

1 Hour And 26 Minutes

The time it took for me to inadvertently come across an internet headline on my Google homepage that divulged information regarding the ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Thank you very much 'Daily News & Analysis of India'.

Friday, July 20, 2007

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

"Vice President Dick Cheney will take over as president on Saturday — but only temporarily, White House officials say — while President Bush undergoes anesthesia during routine screening for colon cancer. The White House press secretary, Tony Snow, said Friday that Mr. Bush would invoke his authority under the 25th Amendment of the Constitution to transfer his presidential powers temporarily to Mr. Cheney during the colonoscopy. Snow also confirmed that a secondary goal of the colonoscopy procedure was to detect "exactly how full of shit" Mr. Bush really is.*" [New York Times]

*Ok, so I added the last sentence...I couldn't help myself!

Nap of Shame


Nothing like having 20,000 fans collectively laughing at you to
give you a thorough appreciation for embarrassment.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Japanese Television Strikes Again


I'm not sure I would have chosen 'Pretty Woman' as the background music for this performance, but who am I to question a group of people that have successfully built a bridge between Matrix-style maneuvers and dinner table arguments.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Tell Us How You Really Feel About The NAACP, Republican Presidential Candidates!

"U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo, R-Col., is the sole Republican candidate to address the NAACP convention. He was flanked by lecterns with placards for nine other GOP candidates -- all no-shows." [Quoted from here.]

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Facts? Nah. Intelligence? No thanks. A Hunch From The "Gut"? Bingo.

It turns out we all may be as qualified for the position of Homeland Security Secretary as current Secretary Michael Chertoff, who made this statement while discussing the U.S. terrorism risk during the summer:

[I believe we're entering a period this summer of increased risk. We've seen a lot more public statements from Al Qaeda. There are a lot of reasons to speculate about that but one reason that occurs to me is that they're feeling more comfortable and raising expectations. In the last August, and in prior summers, we've had attacks against the West, which suggests that summer seems to be appealing to them. I think we do see increased activity in South Asia, so we do worry about whether they are rebuilding their capabilities. We've struck at them and degraded them, but they rebuild. All these things have given me kind of a gut feeling that we are in a period of increased vulnerability (Chicago Tribune, July 10th).]

Ok, I find several major problems with this statement:
  1. If we're "entering a period this summer of increased risk" why haven't the terrorist threat levels changed? This either means that we're actually not entering such a marked period of "increased risk" (in which case Secretary Chertoff is a fearmonger) or the threat level system is a joke (in which case Secretary Chertoff is incompetent). Both can actually be true at the same time, by the way.
  2. Why would our Homeland Security Secretary be "speculating" about anything? How about we talk in terms of facts and calculated assessments rather than speculations. Oh, right...because facts and intelligence are complex, whereas lies...sorry, "speculations"...can be crafted easily.
  3. How exactly are we "striking" and "degrading" Al Qaeda when they're highly concentrated in areas other than Iraq (including Afghanistan and Pakistan). Al Qaeda is rebuilding in those areas we used to/should be fighting them in. Of the effective elements of Al Qaeda that have moved into Iraq, let's not forget who sent them an invitation marked "Chaos in Iraq...RSVP by Spring 2003".
  4. Why are the activities of the Department of Homeland Security being guided by "gut feelings"? Again, is the department so incompetent that it is not possible to gather levels of information higher than the ranking of "gut feeling"? And, should matters that have the potential to gravely affect the lives of countless Americans be headed by someone who characterizes his professional assessments as feelings of his inner bowels?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I Know How To Kill Voldemort...Harry, Meet Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime, Harry.


My personal reviews for Transformers and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, both of which I saw today, are coming shortly...stay tuned!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

In Less Than 24 Hours...

And no, I don't feel ashamed to be attending the 12:01AM showing Tuesday night into Wednesday morning...I really don't...OK, I do feel a little loser-ish, but not enough to stop me.

Look, think of all the Harry Potter-related things I don't do: I don't dress up as characters and wait in line all night to buy the newest book (heck, I don't even read the books...I'm a movie fan, what can I say); I don't prance around casting spells on people; I don't buy Harry Potter merchandise; I don't refer to he-who-must-not-be-named as 'he-who-must-not-be-named' (oops...scratch that one).

Please, be gentle with your judgment.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Sunday, July 01, 2007