Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A Public Service Announcement

The following members of the entertainment industry should apologize to the public for being involved with the movie Mars Attacks!...
  • Tim Burton
  • Jack Nicholson (two apologies from him...one for each character he played)
  • Glenn Close
  • Annette Benning
  • Pierce Brosnan
  • Michael J. Fox
  • Natalie Portman
Conversely, the following members of the entertainment industry should be thankful that they were able to get a part in the movie Mars Attacks!...
  • Danny DeVito
  • Martin Short
  • Tom Jones
  • Sarah Jessica Parker
  • Lukas Haas
  • Jim Brown
  • Pam Grier (don't worry, you shouldn't know who these last three actors are)
And finally, the following members of the public should lobby their cable service providers to remove the TBS channel from their lineup, as the station insists on regularly airing the movie Mars Attacks!...
  • Me
  • You

Friday, January 26, 2007

Hagel to Senate: Go Sell Shoes

So much focus on McCain and Giuliani for the 2008 Republican Presidential nomination...take a look at Senator Chuck Hagel from Nebraska.

Listen to that honest passion, it's exhilarating! I had a chance to meet with Senator Hagel at his Washington D.C. office a few years ago, and I still remember how impressed I was by his intellect and candor. I GREATLY hope that Senator Hagel finds himself on the 2008 Presidential ballot because, even if the Democrats somehow manage to lose the race in what is clearly an anti-Republican political climate, at least I won't slip into a deep state of depression like I did when John Kerry was inexplicably defeated by Bush.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

And The Oscar Nominations Actually Go To...

Some categories were very predictable (I'm looking at you Best Actress categories); some categories had an element of surprise (Mark Walhberg instead of Jack Nicholson for Best Actor in The Departed); some categories had an element of confusion (Best Actor nominee Leonardo DiCaprio for...Blood Diamond?); some categories made me simply angry (let's take a moment to process the impact of a world where movies like Click and Poseidon receive Oscar nominations); and, finally, some categories had surprises that made me giddy with joy, namely a Best Picture/Best Director snub for Dreamgirls...the movie, instead, deserves the honor of Most Overrated Film of 2006.

Here are the academy award nominees for the main categories that I previously posted predictions. I put an asterisk next to the nominees that I correctly predicted...43/53 correctly predicted, not too shabby.

____________________________________________________

BEST PICTURE (4/5)
Babel*
The Departed*
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine*
The Queen*


BEST DIRECTOR (5/5)
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel
*
Martin Scorsese, The Departed*
Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima*
Stephen Frears, The Queen*
Paul Greengrass, United 93*


BEST ACTOR (4/5)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond

Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson*
Peter O'Toole, Venus*
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness*
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland*


BEST ACTRESS (5/5)
Penelope Cruz, Volver
*
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal*
Helen Mirren, The Queen*
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada*
Kate Winslet, Little Children*


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (3/5)
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine
*
Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children
Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond
*
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls*
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS (5/5)
Adriana Barraza, Babel
*
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal*
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine*
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls*
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel*


BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY (3/5)
Babel
*
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
*
Pan's Labyrinth
The Queen
*


BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
(3/5)
Borat
Children of Men
The Departed
*
Little Children*
Notes on a Scandal*


BEST ANIMATED FILM
(3/3)
Cars*
Happy Feet*
Monster House*


BEST DOCUMENTARY (4/5)
Deliver Us From Evil
*
An Inconvenient Truth*
Iraq in Fragments*
Jesus Camp*
My Country, My Country


BEST FOREIGN FILM (4/5)
After the Wedding, Denmark
Days of Glory, Algeria
*
The Lives of Others, Germany*
Pan's Labyrinth, Mexico*
Water, Canada*
____________________________________________________

And The Oscar Nominations Might Go To...


In less than 8 hours, the nominations for the 79th Academy Awards will be announced. Some will feel the glory of adding "Academy Award Nominee" to the front of their names as they scroll across the movie screen, while others will simply come up short...I was pulling for you Sacha Baron Cohen but, unfortunately, I can't vote!

Here are my official picks for the main awards categories (I'm thinking you probably don't care what I think about the Best Makeup category so much...if you do, we'll talk):

____________________________________________

BEST PICTURE
Babel
Dreamgirls
Little Miss Sunshine
The Departed
The Queen

Alternate: United 93


BEST DIRECTOR
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel
Bill Condon, Dreamgirls
Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima
Martin Scorsese, The Departed
Stephen Frears, The Queen

Alternate: Paul Greengrass, United 93


BEST ACTOR
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness

Alternate: Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat


BEST ACTRESS
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Kate Winslet, Little Children
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Penelope Cruz, Volver

Alternate: Beyonce Knowles, Dreamgirls


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine
Brad Pitt, Babel
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Jack Nicholson, The Departed
Michael Sheen, The Queen

Alternate: Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

Alternate: Emily Blunt, Devil Wears Prada


BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Babel
Little Miss Sunshine
Stranger Than Fiction
The Queen
United 93

Alternate: Volver


BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Little Children
Notes on a Scandal
Thank You For Smoking
The Departed
The Devil Wears Prada

Alternate: Dreamgirls


BEST ANIMATED FILM
Cars
Happy Feet
Monster House

Alternate: Flushed Away


BEST DOCUMENTARY
An Inconvenient Truth
Deliver Us From Evil
Iraq In Fragments
Jesus Camp
Shut Up & Sing

Alternates: The War Tapes


BEST FOREIGN FILM
Days of Glory, Algeria
Pan's Labyrinth, Mexico
The Lives of Others, Germany
Volver, Spain
Water, Canada

Alternate: Black Book, Netherlands

____________________________________________

Thursday, January 18, 2007

It's Like Music...With Video

I love music videos. Here's some of my favorites...

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California

See how many legendary musicians, bands, and eras of music you can identify (I think I can name like 75% of them). Also check out the music video for Tell Me Baby here.


Gary Jules - Mad World

This version is a remake of the song originally recorded by 'Tears for Fears'.
The visuals of the video fit the mood of the song perfectly.



Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice

Let it be known that this is one of the best music videos of all time.
Christopher Walken...dancing...and flying...in a hotel...I rest my case.
(and I know Mr. Cooper will agree with me on this one)



Gavin DeGraw - Chariot

A good song matched by an equally good video, directed by none other than Zach Braff.
(with a cameo by Braff's very funny man-friend Donald Faison)


Outkast - Hey Ya

Do you realize that Polaroid cameras are no longer made.
I have to admit that I feel saddened by this news, but I don't know why.
Regardless, thanks to Outkast, I will continue to shake the proverbial 'it'.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Winter Wonderland

[UPDATE: I want to thank the weather powers that be for complying with my demand...it's currently snowing in NJ. For my next request, I ask you, weather gods, please make money fall from the sky in NJ. Thank you.]

Well, temperatures in NJ have finally dipped below freezing for a prolonged period of time. Thus, I declare today, January 17th, the "official" first day of winter.

Is it true that last night around midnight the temperature was 65 degrees in NJ? Yes indeed. Have I been wearing shorts to the gym for the past few weeks? You bet I have. Did I see a small squirrel scurry up an eerily blooming tree with a tear in its eye? No, but I imagine it's happining all across the Garden State. Regardless, it's winter now, so I demand some snowfall over the next few days as a sign of good faith. I think that's a fair demand, considering the day when a groundhog proclaims how early spring will come is only 17 days away...oh boy, winter might only last 17 days...I suggest you plan that snowboarding trip sooner rather than later.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?


Just when you thought bears had the monopoly on hugging...

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Why, Andy, Why!?!?


Less than 2 minutes left in the game...down 3 points...4th down around the 45 yard line...your defense hasn't been able to stop the Saints offense the ENTIRE game...AND YOU PUNT IT AWAY!? You thought you had a better chance "getting the ball back" than you did making the first down on 4th and 15 (which, to be fair, has only been completed 1 out of 9 times in the NFL this entire season), EVEN THOUGH (a) Garcia had JUST COMPLETED a pass for close to twenty yards in the previous play, (b) the ONLY strong part of the Eagles game all night was the passing game, and (c) even if you didn't complete the first down, there would STILL be the opportunity to call on the Eagles defense to turn the ball back over!?

Simply awful call. You chose to "play it safe" (even though you knew there was an extremely high likelihood that your team wasn't going to see that ball again), instead of believing that your guys would be able to do what needed to be done. Watching the game clock expire, you probably realized, all too late, that your poor coaching decision just cost the Eagles one final chance at the win...meanwhile, everyone else was busy thinking about how justifiable it will be when you're handed your walking papers.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

The President Who Cried Wolf

[An excerpt from Keith Olbermann's Special Comment on
tonight's episode of 'Countdown with Keith Olbermann' on MSNBC]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I read this list last night, before the president’s speech, and it bears repeating because its shape and texture are perceptible only in such a context.

Before Mr. Bush was elected, he said nation-building was wrong for America.

Now he says it is vital.

He said he would never put U.S. troops under foreign control.

Last night he promised to embed them in Iraqi units.

He told us about WMD.

Mobile labs.

Secret sources.

Aluminum tubes.

Yellow-cake.

He has told us the war is necessary:

Because Saddam was a material threat.

Because of 9/11.

Because of Osama Bin Laden. Al-Qaida. Terrorism in general.

To liberate Iraq. To spread freedom. To spread Democracy. To prevent terrorism by gas price increases.

Because this was a guy who tried to kill his dad.

Because — 439 words in to the speech last night — he trotted out 9/11 again.

In advocating and prosecuting this war he passed on a chance to get Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi.

To get Muqtada Al-Sadr. To get Bin Laden.

He sent in fewer troops than the generals told him to. He ordered the Iraqi army disbanded and the Iraqi government “de-Baathified.”

He short-changed Iraqi training. He neglected to plan for widespread looting. He did not anticipate sectarian violence.

He sent in troops without life-saving equipment. He gave jobs to foreign contractors, and not Iraqis. He staffed U.S. positions there, based on partisanship, not professionalism.

He and his government told us: America had prevailed, mission accomplished, the resistance was in its last throes.

He has insisted more troops were not necessary. He has now insisted more troops are necessary.

He has insisted it’s up to the generals, and then removed some of the generals who said more troops would not be necessary.

He has trumpeted the turning points:

The fall of Baghdad, the death of Uday and Qusay, the capture of Saddam. A provisional government, a charter, a constitution, the trial of Saddam. Elections, purple fingers, another government, the death of Saddam.

He has assured us: We would be greeted as liberators — with flowers;

As they stood up, we would stand down. We would stay the course; we were never about “stay the course.”

We would never have to go door-to-door in Baghdad. And, last night, that to gain Iraqis’ trust, we would go door-to-door in Baghdad.

He told us the enemy was al-Qaida, foreign fighters, terrorists, Baathists, and now Iran and Syria.

He told us the war would pay for itself. It would cost $1.7 billion. $100 billion. $400 billion. Half a trillion. Last night’s speech alone cost another $6 billion.

And after all of that, now it is his credibility versus that of generals, diplomats, allies, Democrats, Republicans, the Iraq Study Group, past presidents, voters last November and the majority of the American people.

Mr. Bush, this is madness.

You have lost the military. You have lost the Congress to the Democrats. You have lost most of the Iraqis. You have lost many of the Republicans. You have lost our allies.

You are losing the credibility, not just of your presidency, but more importantly of the office itself.

And most imperatively, you are guaranteeing that more American troops will be losing their lives, and more families their loved ones. You are guaranteeing it!

This becomes your legacy, sir: How many of those you addressed last night as your “fellow citizens” you just sent to their deaths.

And for what, Mr. Bush?

So the next president has to pull the survivors out of Iraq instead of you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Go Ahead...Procrastinate

Deal or No Deal Online.......it's just as fun playing this online version with no real money at stake, I swear...ok, it kind of sucks, but play it anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DonLaFontaine.com......the official website of the famous movie trailer voice over guy (yes, the one that you and I and every person in America has imitated saying "In a world...").

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HornyManatee.com......courtesy of Late Night with Conan O'Brien (I'm sure you're confused by this one, but here is a NY Times article to explain everything-->NY Times).

Monday, January 08, 2007

New Year's Resolution Update

Yes, I have a New Year's resolution...how novel. As cliched as New Year's resolutions are, if a person truly commits to changing something negative about themselves rather than making empty promises, I'm totally supportive. And, so, I find myself striving to achieve something that I've struggled with for the first 23 years of my life...nail biting.

Here's Wikipedia's definition of the problem...

[Nail biting is the habit of biting one's fingernails or toenails during periods of nervousness, stress, hunger, or boredom. It can also be a sign of mental or emotional disorder. The clinical name for nail biting is chronic onychophagia.]

First of all, from now on I will be telling people that my New Year's resolution is to "cure my chronic onychophagia". Secondly, I want to set the record straight: I've never, ever, EVER bitten my toenails. Lastly, I'm not so sure that nail biting and hunger have a lot to do with one another, but if you do find yourself planning your meal schedule in conjunction with biting your nails, consult a physician immediately. Aside from these points, the definition is right on. I bite my fingernails when I'm nervous about something, stressed out about something, or bored doing something.

However, one important point is overlooked: about 80% of the time, the decision to bite my nails is an unconscious decision. In other words, I don't realize I'm biting my nails until it's well underway or finished (much like sleepwalking, I assume). So, how exactly do you quit doing something you don't even know you're doing!? That's a good question that I would very much like the answer to (other than answers that involve hypnotic therapy or wearing gloves 24/7). Quite honestly, I'm not even sure if nails that have been routinely bitten down to less than half an inch for the past 23 years will even grow back to any state of normalcy...I'll let you know.

For now, I'm just paying extra attention at times when I know I'm most likely to start biting (driving in the car, watching TV, etc.), and so far it's working. Of course, I've done this many times before, and I usually don't make it more than a couple of weeks before I break down...BUT, this time will be different and it's all thanks to my dad (a nail biter of more than fifty years). Somewhere about ten years ago, I distinctly remember my dad seeing me bite my nails one idle day, and saying something along the lines of "you know, if you keep biting your nails like this, your hands are going to look very bad for the wedding pictures of you and your wife's hands wearing wedding rings." For a 13-year-old deeply engrossed in the world of some random Super Nintendo video game, I really didn't care about my dad's crazy talk...for a 23-year-old fiance a little over a year away from his wedding, the message is received loud and clear.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Now That It's 2007...

The year 2006 is over. Done. Finished. No more.

With 2006 in the rearview window, I think we should take some time to establish a few ground rules for the year 2007.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Now That It's 2007..."
  • ...radio stations have to stop playing Sexy Back. Look, we get it: Justin Timberlake brought sexy back. But he brought it back in 2006. Now that sexy is back, that song is as outdated as Prince's Party Like It's 1999.
  • ...it's no longer OK to be computer illiterate. Sure, a few years ago when a writer would talk about still using a typewriter or a company still operated with a paper filing system, it was somewhat quaint. But it's 2007, and (assuming you're under the age of 60) if you still don't have an email address and/or use Google on a semi-regular basis, you're just sad.
  • ...Starbucks is no longer allowed to get my order wrong. You've virtually cornered the entire hot drink market, opened thousands of locations around the globe, serve millions of customers every day, and yet you can't remember that I said no damn whipped cream on my hot chocolate!? This goes double for Panera. You have no problem preparing the Frontega Chicken Hot Panini for the guy ahead of me, but when it comes to my turkey and cheese on French bread, you're stumped. Fix this please.
  • ...people need to accept that Britney Spears is capable of doing anything. Driving with a baby on her lap? Check. Marrying/divorcing a guy dirtier than a homeless person? Done. Saying "we should just trust our President in every decision he makes"? Yep. In 2007, don't be shocked when Britney Spears makes love to a monkey or punches a nun in the face. Simply put, Britney Spears is so trashy she makes Cletus from The Simpsons look like George Clooney.
  • ...President Bush must recognize that the current Iraq War is another Vietnam. Actually, that's not entirely fair. The Iraq War is not another Vietnam. It's much worse, based primarily on the fact that the events of Vietnam preceded those of the current Iraq War, and therefore should have prevented an American military quagmire from happening once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Big East Bowl Record: 4-0

Look at those Cardinals swarm!
Now it's your turn, Cincinnati.
GO BIG EAST!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Blogs Are So '2006'


* * * HAPPY NEW YEAR * * *