Happy Holidays From The Obama Family

Must...Stop...Buying...Gifts

And now, a classic holiday shopping moment from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Oh that Clark W. Griswold, when will he learn!

Leave Nothing

Dear advertising industry: this is how you get me to pay attention to commercials. After seeing the visuals of this commercial, it makes complete sense that this was directed by Michael Mann (Collateral, Miami Vice). From now on, I expect all my commercials to be directed by individuals of an Oscar nominated caliber.

Why So Serious?

Ok, I've already watched this trailer at least half a dozen times and I can't seem to stop.

I just hope my July '08 wedding doesn't get in the way of the summer release of The Dark Knight.

I'm kidding, of course...I'd never let anything get in the way of seeing this movie.

Kidding again...maybe.

Kidding.

You Better Be Near 'Legend'ary

UPDATE: Yeah, so...I'm pretty disappointed right now. Let's put it this way: the amazing trailer for The Dark Knight shown before the movie was easily the more memorable part of my movie experience tonight.

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I think the first trailer I saw for I Am Legend was a good year or so ago. It's clearly positioned as the holiday blockbuster movie (with Sweeney Todd, as well as the collective force of all 100 Oscar movie releases, nipping at its heals), and it's release date is finally here. You better believe I'll be at my local theater nice and early tomorrow night to reserve my seat amongst the rowdy masses.

And to you, I am Legend, all I ask is that you're even close to the hype that has surrounded you throughout the run-up to this movie's release. Just get close...you don't have to to be the best post-apocalyptic vampire movie I've ever seen (then again, I'm not sure you're competing with more than the Blade trilogy here, so it looks like you do have to be the best). We're talking Will Smith, crazy aerial shots of a barren NYC, eerie creatures lurking in the night...please don't turn out to be like the remake of Godzilla with Matthew Broderick, please!

I Am Legend, if you mess this one up, I vow to never see another "suspenseful monster movie set on the streets of New York City" ever again......until J.J. Abrams's Cloverfield is released in January, that is. To the movies!

Note To Self:

Alan Keyes is mayor of Crazytown!

Viral Politics

Hey Rudy...nervous laughter much?


Cookiegate: the scandal that will surely sink the Hillary campaign.


It's too bad the writers' strike is still going on because you know Letterman would be pulling out the infamous "Uma...Oprah" joke for Obama and Oprah......OK, so maybe there are some benefits to the writers' strike.

The Winner Of This Year's Heisman Trophy Is...Jesus Christ!

Earlier tonight, Tim Tebow began his Heisman Trophy acceptance speech...

"Thank you...[choked up]...I'd just like to...first start off by thanking my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who game me the ability to play football..."

Hmmm...so Jesus gives college football quarterbacks good throwing arms? I have to say, I did not know that. And, just in case we didn't hear him the first time, Tebow gave his "Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ" a second shout out later in his speech.

Technically, if Jesus gave Tebow his football abilities, doesn't this mean that Jesus should be receiving the Heisman Trophy, and not Tebow? Just saying.

It's Time

Hello Pittsburgh

Thanks for knocking the Big East out of the BCS championship game! The entire country could have been watching West Virginia and Ohio State play for the national title in New Orleans, but noooooo, you had to go and pretend you were anything other than 28-point underdogs. I hate you.

Keith Olbermann On 'The Simpsons'

Funny stuff...watch the clip here.

A Black Friday For LSU

McFadden, Arkansas Stun No. 1 LSU in Triple OT

What A Bunch of Turkeys

My fiance and I went to the gym today, as we usually do every Monday, and lo and behold the gym is about five times more crowded than usual. That's five times more people occupying our elliptical machines, five times more people using the weights, five times more grotesque men and women engaging in long conversations in the locker rooms while being COMPLETELY naked, stopping every now and then to bend over gratuitously.

Now, I'd usually be supportive of the prospect of more people engaging in daily exercise, however I think something else is afoot here. I believe my gym is experiencing a phenomenon known only as TIES (or Thanksgiving-Induced Exercise Syndrome). When TIES occurs, people that have previously been content to spend hundreds of dollars on gym memberships while never actually stepping foot inside the gym facility suddenly become consumed by the guilt of the pending Thanksgiving Day gorging they will likely engage in. Fortunately for these lost souls, there are three ways to cure TIES:

1. Simply eat horrible and sit around the house every day of the year, rather than only on Thanksgiving Day. While this may seem extremely unhealthy (and it is), at least your guilt, and thus your TIES, will subside.
2. Instead of exercising only during the week of Thanksgiving, try and exercise and eat healthy all the time. But be warned: this solution is extremely more difficult and time consuming than just accepting the glory of one's obesity.
3. This one is going to blow your mind. Exercise every once in a while and eat like normal humans are supposed to eat, namely in moderation.

In the meantime, welcome to our gym and I hope to see you around more often...unless, of course, you're that crazy lady that spends an hour at the gym never actually working out, instead trying to get everyone to pay attention to how much of a Red Sox fan you are. We get it, you're insane. Now get the hell away from my bicep machine.

Pictures Worth A Thousand Words

Get the story behind these chillingly brilliant posters here.
(click them to enlarge)

Christmas is 'Extras' Special This Year

HBO series Extras set to conclude on December 16th with 80-minute Christmas special!

Listen Up Iowa

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Response to Adam's post: It's obvious you hate America.

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A few improving national and state poll results, an energetic speech at this weekend's Jefferson Jackson Dinner in Iowa, a solid interview on Meet The Press this past Sunday morning and Barack Obama is having, as VH1 would say, the Best Week Ever.

Do yourself a favor and watch the video of the aforementioned speech Obama delivered in Iowa this past weekend. It is truly inspiring and, were Obama to go on and win the 2008 presidential election, I think we'll be adding the portion of Obama's speech between the 19 and 20 minute mark to the American collection of memorable speeches. Gives me chills every time I watch it.

So...Many...Movies

The fall movie season is in full swing, and I'm falling behind quickly! Here's a list of movies I need to see...and, of course, by need I mean want, considering what I need to do is plan for my Spring 2008 graduate class schedule, start thinking about 15-20 page political theory papers based on Mill's On Liberty, and find a way to master the data analysis and statistical computer software 'STATA' overnight......TO THE MOVIES!

1. No Country For Old Men *
2. Into the Wild
3. American Gangster
4. Michael Clayton
5. Lions for Lambs **
6. Gone Baby Gone/Across The Universe ***
7. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? ****

* I need to see this movie ASAP because the trailer itself is enough to make me think that this will likely be one of the best movies of the year.

** The reviews have been less than good for this one, but it's tough to pass up a movie with Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, and Tom Cruise.

*** These ones will probably drop off to my "Catch it on DVD" list.

**** This is obviously a joke...both my including it as something I'd see and the movie itself.

I Hate The Cold/Colds

It's practically freezing in NJ and NY and I'm currently sick with a head cold. Plus, it suddenly gets dark around 2pm.

Is it June yet?

*The above picture is a vision of things to come...very bad things.

Wedding Food That Is...Good?!

This weekend was the food tasting for the reception hall that my fiance and I will be having our wedding at next summer. There were about a dozen other couples, many of whom couldn't pry themselves from the various forms of wine and champagne being served throughout the 3+ hour presentation. Anyway, all of the food tasted exceptionally great (except for the Hollow Red Bliss Potato Filled with Horse Radish Cream appetizers...big disappointment for us). Even better, the presentation of the food was off the charts, so even if our guests don't like the courses we pick, at least they'll be saying "wow, this food looks so good I just have to eat it!" Take a look below...

A platter of about twelve of the more than twenty potential appetizers,
all of which were made from scratch by the chef.

I'm 100% Italian and my fiance is 75% Italian...big surprise,
there's a pasta course.


Two of the potential main entrees, Stuffed Chicken Breast Florentine
and Chateau Briand with Bordelaise Sauce.


And, finally, a dessert of chocolate mousse, something that
was just a part of the tasting for us. And so very good.

Obama on SNL!

The Hillary witch jokes are great, and Obama saying the famous SNL opening line is awesome (I can't believe he is actually on SNL!). But, as usual, Fred Armisen is hilariously perfect as Former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel. Watch and enjoy!

UConn Do It

The bad news: I just wasted over three hours of my Saturday night watching Rutgers play some pretty terrible football yet again, this time against still-undefeated UConn.

The good news: we set the clocks back an hour tonight, so I get back one of those wasted hours.

Save The Cheerleader, Save The...AHHH!

Debate Update: If You Can't Stand The Heat

Kudos to Edwards, Obama, and even Dodd and Biden, for putting Hillary Clinton's feet to the fire. Throughout the entire two hour debate, it was very clear that Hillary was on defense, and she was the least successful at sidestepping her problematic issues than she's been during any of the previous debates. Let's keep this going over the next 65 days, hopefully leading to a shift in analysis that focuses on both Obama and Edwards as the "front-runners".

Only 66 Days Left Until Voting Begins

Check out the Democratic candidates on the MSNBC debate Tuesday night at 9:00pm, moderated by NBC's Brian Williams.

Here are my predictions for at least one thing each candidate will say/do at some point during the debate:

• Hillary Clinton will...make some kind of remark regarding being "the attention of so many men", referring to the other candidates speaking against her, followed by a discordant cackle (that will haunt my dreams forever).
  
• Barack Obama will...state exactly in these words, "I was against this war [pause] from the start [emphasis on start]", referring to the Iraq War (which will make that the 1,289th time he's uttered that exact phrase in that exact cadence).
  
• John Edwards will...gesture forcefully with his hands while talking about some issue (likely poverty), placing his hands parallel to each other, palms facing in, thus revealing his yellow livestrong bracelet. Watch for this one all night.
  
• Bill Richardson will...listen to the debate questions by violently squinting and scrunching his face tighter than any human should ever be capable of.
  
• Chris Dodd will...manage to cram more words into 60 seconds than half the other candidates combined. I'd say he rivals the Micro Machines guy, but I fear that reference is dated (and, thus, depressing for those of us that remember the commercials).
  
• Joe Biden will...attempt to answer the six debate questions he wasn't called on for during a question he was called on for, thus looking like some sort of rambling lunatic. He'll also make some sort of reference to how it's time politicians "started telling you the truth [emphasis on truth]".
  
• Dennis Kucinich will...pull out the pocket-sized version of The U.S. Constitution he keeps in the front breast pocket of his suit jacket. He'll also end every single answer with a, for lack of a better phrase, shit-eating-grin.
  
• Mike Gravel will...shout incoherently. Enough said.

Enjoy!

Scarlet Fever

Grad school midterm exams and papers complete...check. Adam returning from Harvard Yard to the Garden State...check. Perpetual state of anxiety regarding the Rutgers v. West Virgina game tomorrow...double check.

It's game time.

Four...More...Wins

It's a fact: Thanks to today's Cincinnati loss, if Rutgers wins all four of their remaining conference games this season, they will be the Big East Champions, and head to a guaranteed BCS Bowl game, predicted right now to be the Orange Bowl in Miami!!!

One of those wins would be against next week's opponent, West Virginia, a game Mr. Cooper and I will be attending/having stress-induced coronary failure throughout. Then, UConn, a potential spoiler game; then Pittsburgh (who seems to have shocked the hell out of Cincinnati today); and, finally, a season-ending, home showdown against Louisville...the drama writes itself!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not counting my chicks before they've hatched here...I'm just lining up the eggs, taking a good look at them, and praying to the holy college football lords above that each of those chicks hatch chanting "RU, RU, RU"!

Tonight's Menu: A Healthy Serving Of Rice

I'll happily bleed Scarlet all over the place for a Rutgers win tonight against South Florida. GO KNIGHTS!

Update: Well, I'm definitely going to save some of that Scarlet blood for next week's game against West Virginia...BCS, HERE WE COME!

What A Game

Kudos to the Colorado Rockies for a great Game 4 and the Division Championship...for winning 21 out of the last 22 games played...for making it to the World Series for the first time in their franchise history...for making it in a way that no other team has ever done in the history of the MLB, namely by sweeping both series of the Division playoffs...for giving me hope that, if Boston manages to defeat Cleveland, you'll be a match for the Red Sox in the World Series.

Congrats Nobel Peace Prize Recepient Al Gore!

Could it be more appropriate that Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize for his pursuits regarding Global Warming at the end of a week where people here in the Northeast wore shorts and sandals on Monday and jackets and gloves on Friday?

NYC Famous People Sightings This Semester

[From Left to Right: Actor Ryan Gosling, walking on 5th Avenue; Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama, speaking at Washington Square Park rally; Newsweek Columnist and MSNBC Political Analyst Jonathan Alter, spectator at the Obama Rally; NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, riding the 'A' Subway from 34th Street to 4th Street.]

Torre Lives To Coach Another Day

After Saturday's Rutgers game, I don't think I could have taken a Yankee loss......on to Game 4!

I...Hate...Bugs!

Well, at least the Yankees have some company in the 0-2 playoff club (Hello Cubs, Angels, and Phillies!). I'm calling it right now: all four 0-2 teams will make MLB history by staging comebacks in their respective divisions......clearly this will not happen......except for the Yankees.

So Bad A Caveman Would Hate It

Hey Geico, remember that 15 minutes I spent saving a ton of money by switching to Geico? Well, what exactly was I supposed to get out of the 30 minutes I spent watching the show Cavemen, which is based on your commercials? What exactly is the use of cheap car insurance if I've just gouged my eyes out while watching what can only be described as the worst new show of the new millennium and I can no longer drive a vehicle?!

In a related note, I just started watching Carpoolers, the ABC comedy that follows Cavemen, and I've already laughed more times just watching the one-minute scene before the opening credits than I did during the entire show of Cavemen...and that would be one laugh.

There's Only Room For One Of Us In This Town...

'Onion News Video Linked To Area Man Pants Peeing Incident'

Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex

And They Said It Couldn't Be Done

With an unprecedented second half of the season,

the Yankees are going to the playoffs!

Say No To Plato*

*The blog site 'Funny Because It's True', heretofore referred to as FBIT Inc., maintains sole copyright ownership of the phrase 'Say No To Plato', including any and all graphical representations of said phrase. All reproductions of said phrase for any and all purposes (including trendy t-shirts sold at NYC Urban Outfitters) will require the expressed written consent of FBIT Inc. and all appropriate subsidiaries of said entity...don't steal my shit.

ONE GAME AWAY!

Oh, The Horror, Entertainment Weekly!

Taking a page from the Cooper Playbook, I think it's about time I declare Entertainment Weekly, a once reliable information source for all segments of the entertainment industry...dead to me. That's right, EW, you've burned me for the last time. I didn't mind when you added some cheesy sections to the magazine ('Obsessive Fan of the Week'...yikes). I can handle a useless list of the 'Top 50 Movies Featuring a Dog' every now and then. I can even stomach an unimaginably horrible Scott Brown writing the once humorous 'Hit List' each week. But I'm not about to stand by while you morph my once-respected magazine into some 99 cent supermarket tabloid!

There, I finally said it. Fortunately, I only have about a few hundred issues or so left on my subscription so I won't have to deal with this nonsense for much longer. After 2011, it's bye bye Entertainment Weekly for me......unless, of course, they offer another 66% discount off the newsstand price. Come on, that just makes economic sense!

The Emmy's Were Really, Really [CENSORED]

Good!

• 30 Rock for Comedy Series
• The Sopranos for Drama Series
• Ricky Gervais for Best Actor, Comedy
• Terry O'Quinn for Best Supporting Actor, Drama
• Jeremy Piven for Best Supporting Actor, Comedy
• The Sopranos for Writing, Drama ('Made in America')
  

Bad!

• America Ferrera for Best Actress, Comedy
• James Spader for Best Actor, Drama
• Katherine Heigl for Best Supporting Actress, Drama
• Jaime Pressly for Best Supporting Actress, Comedy
• Sally Field for Best Actress, Drama
• Tony Bennett for...every award ever!

A Dog And His Pool

This dog is so funny, he's not just hilarious,
he's......(wait for it)......HI-larious!

It's The End Of The Summer As We Know It

With about 500+ pages of reading to do for this week's grad school classes, I'd say it's about time to sound the horn for the official end of the summer movie season.

In between Yankee games, beach trips, and crappy summer television, I managed to see just nine of the season's movies (with two viewings of 'The Simpsons', one of my summer favorites), far below what I wish I could have achieved. If I didn't value my relationship with my fiance as I do, I would have gone to the theater to see 'Shrek The Third', 'Ocean's 13', 'A Mighty Heart', 'Ratatouille', 'Rescue Dawn', 'Live Free or Die Hard', 'No End In Sight', 'Hairspray', and 'The Bourne Ultimatum' (I'll thank DVD technology, Netflix, and HBO in advance for providing me the wonderful opportunity to see these movies at a later time of my choosing).

I know how much everyone's been talking about my summer movie reviews, so here's a recap just in case you didn't catch them the first time around (with the late addition of 'Superbad, which I finally got around to seeing last night):

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Knocked Up ......................... A+
"It is undeniable that Knocked Up is the must-see comedy of the summer."

Sicko ......................... A
"A gut-wrenching, dramatic documentary...so compelling you'll want to both lend a helping hand to your neighbor and march on Washington D.C. as the credits begin to roll."

The Simpsons Movie ......................... A-
"The Simpsons Movie had some of the highest expectation to meet this summer, and it successfully met those expectations."

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix .................... B+
"Even if I can't stop thinking about how it's all going to end, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is one of the better, darker entries of the Potter movie series."

Transformers ......................... B
"Transformers is all about the fun, simple visceral movie experience meant to be released during the sweltering July heat."

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End .................... B-

"At World's End stumbles far too often to be considered a great movie, or maybe even a good one, but you can't help but feel like the adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow and Company made for an overall fun ride while they lasted."

28 Weeks Later ......................... C+
"28 Weeks Later is artistic and somewhat thought provoking, yet it doesn't quite evolve as effectively as movie franchises are expected to do in their second outings."

Spider-Man 3 ......................... C
"Easily inferior to it's predecessors, Spider-man 3 is a box office record-setting behemoth that disappoints on so many levels."

Superbad ......................... C
"Unfortunately, 'Superbad is an immature comedy with 75% immaturity and 25% comedy. I wouldn't say it's 'superbad', but it's easily one of the more over-hyped movies of recent memory."

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Two For Two For RU

The Good...A forceful offense, especially the 110% improvement of Mike Teel over last year, as well as the ever-unstoppable Ray Rice and skilled receivers Underwood and Britt.

The Bad...A defense that still has more work to do before the tough games, especially involving the 'How To Stop Receiving Penalties Every Play' lesson (11 penalties for 100 yards...that could be deadly with a better team, especially when the penalties are occurring during 4th down punts).

The Conclusion...GO RU!

Decision Making Not The Senator's Strong Suit

First he plead guilty regarding his alleged bathroom escapade, and then decided that he made a mistake and should have plead 'not guilty'. Then, Senator Larry Craig announced he will resign effective September 30th, yet now he is reportedly reconsidering his resignation after realizing he may have been too hasty. Senator Craig can attempt to mask his true sexual preference, but there's one thing this guy just can't hide: he's horrible at making decision!

P.S. Hey Senator Craig, just a little advice for you...When your political scandal involves being criminally charged with lewd behavior in a public restroom, you might want to reconsider wearing a coat that makes it look like you're just seconds away from flashing the crowd. Just trying to help out.

I Love This Game

One down, eleven to go! Ok, ok, I know a win against Buffalo was obvious, but a win is a win. All that's left to say is 'DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE!'...as in work on that defense Rutgers because you're gonna need to be sharp for that West Virginia game I can't wait to attend this season.
GO RU !!!

Real Time...Returns!

Check out HBO this Friday night at 11pm, because Real Time with Bill Maher returns for it's bazillionth season!

Here's hoping that Maher finally realizes that his panels have become a bit repetitive and adjusts accordingly...there's only so much Bradley Whitford, Ben Affleck, and Richard Belzer one man can take!