Hell-on-Wheels

Working at Shmarnes and Woble has provided great insight into the behaviors of the general public (see previous post for further discussion). By far, one of the most incredible patterns I have witnessed comes not from the adults I dread helping find the newest book by Larry the Cable Guy, but rather from their children.

Apparently, various shoe manufacturers have decided that attaching wheels to the bottom of children's shoes was the next logical step in footwear development. And we all know how successfully inventive this industry has been in the future: shoes with lights that blink as you walk...BRILLIANT! If you thought little Suzy's red blinking shoes were great BEFORE, well, NOW you get to see them blinking as the little girl zooms by you at 15 miles an hour in the middle of a store! I've always said we need to teach our children to act more wildly when in public, because today's kids are just way too well-mannered (it's obvious that all the great parenting that takes place each Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday while dining at McDonald's is really paying off).

Chandler Bing of Friends said it best, while deciding on an advertising slogan for, yep you guessed it, children's shoes with wheels attached to them: "Kids, kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!"