Now That It's 2007...

The year 2006 is over. Done. Finished. No more.

With 2006 in the rearview window, I think we should take some time to establish a few ground rules for the year 2007.

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"Now That It's 2007..."

• ...radio stations have to stop playing Sexy Back. Look, we get it: Justin Timberlake brought sexy back. But he brought it back in 2006. Now that sexy is back, that song is as outdated as Prince's Party Like It's 1999.

• ...it's no longer OK to be computer illiterate. Sure, a few years ago when a writer would talk about still using a typewriter or a company still operated with a paper filing system, it was somewhat quaint. But it's 2007, and (assuming you're under the age of 60) if you still don't have an email address and/or use Google on a semi-regular basis, you're just sad.

• ...Starbucks is no longer allowed to get my order wrong. You've virtually cornered the entire hot drink market, opened thousands of locations around the globe, serve millions of customers every day, and yet you can't remember that I said no damn whipped cream on my hot chocolate!? This goes double for Panera. You have no problem preparing the Frontega Chicken Hot Panini for the guy ahead of me, but when it comes to my turkey and cheese on French bread, you're stumped. Fix this please.
  

• ...people need to accept that Britney Spears is capable of doing anything. Driving with a baby on her lap? Check. Marrying/divorcing a guy dirtier than a homeless person? Done. Saying "we should just trust our President in every decision he makes"? Yep. In 2007, don't be shocked when Britney Spears makes love to a monkey or punches a nun in the face. Simply put, Britney Spears is so trashy she makes Cletus from The Simpsons look like George Clooney.
  

• ...President Bush must recognize that the current Iraq War is another Vietnam. Actually, that's not entirely fair. The Iraq War is not another Vietnam. It's much worse, based primarily on the fact that the events of Vietnam preceded those of the current Iraq War, and therefore should have prevented an American military quagmire from happening once again.

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