Mess With Texas

Men's Fitness recently put out their annual ranking of the "Fittest and Fattest Cities in America". Here are the lists:

[to make the chart larger, click it]

Much like previous years, Texas isn't looking so hot with six spots on the Fattest Cities list, four of which are in the top ten. Now, to be fair to Red States and Blue States alike, I should also point out that California seems to hold quite a few of the Fattest Cities spots. Although, California also holds three of the Fittest Cities spots, whereas Texas only has one (namely, #21 Austin). Regardless, the moral of the story: stop being so unhealthy Texas and California!

Another interesting observation...New Jersey holds ZERO spots on either list, which clearly means that New Jerseyans are not too fat and not too fit, we're just right.

The way Men's Fitness calculates exactly which cities are the fittest and fattest is really quite impressive. According to the article...

[Men's Fitness] spends months poring over statistics on the things that make real people fit or fat, from weather patterns to junk food, from availability of public recreational facilities to TV-viewing habits. We dig through data on how much exercise people get, whether they use their gym memberships, how healthfully they eat, and how much time they spend sitting in traffic. We even quiz city park departments and mayors to learn about local exercise venues, civil leadership, and programs designed to get citizens off their couches and moving.

So, in reality, it's less about being the fittest/fattest cities and more about being the most healthy/unhealthy cities, which makes these rankings that much more interesting. Here are a few "Honorable Mention" awards handed out by Men's Fitness to various cities of each list:

• The Laziest City and The City That Watches the Most TV - Memphis, TN (31% of adults claim to get no serious exercise at all in a 30-day period; residents watch 25% more TV than the average cities in the survey)

• The City That Watches the Least TV and The City With the Most Fitness-Friendly Environment - San Francisco, CA (20% less likely to be watching TV in any given hour than other cities; only five days per year above 90 or below 32 degrees)

• The City With the Most Free Time - Arlington, TX (commuters spend only 7% more time in traffic during peak periods than during off-peak hours, while the national average is 31%)

• The City With the Most Bars and The Junk Food Capital - Cleveland, OH (four times the national average number of bars per capita for cities in the survey; number of fast food joints is twice the national average, pizza is more than 2.5 times as popular, ice cream even more so)

SNL: The Best of Rainn Wilson

This is, without a doubt, one of THE funniest clips I've seen on Saturday Night Live in the past five years, maybe even longer. Watch it once and weep hysterically...then watch it again to catch every hilarious detail.

2007 Oscar Predictions!

[UPDATE: Well, only 14 out of 21 predictions correct. The categories I got right are highlighted below...better luck next year!]

The 79th Academy Awards are tomorrow, and so I present to you my predictions of which films will take home golden statues of a man named 'Oscar'.

My goal this year: to correctly predict 18 out of these 21 categories.
Here we go!

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Best Picture ~ The Departed

Best Director ~ Martin Scorsese, The Departed

Best Actor ~ Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

Best Supporting Actor ~ Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls

Best Actress ~ Helen Mirren, The Queen

Best Supporting Actress ~ Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls

Best Original Screenplay ~ Little Miss Sunshine

Best Adapted Screenplay ~ The Departed

Best Animated Feature Film ~ Cars
Best Foreign Language Film ~ Pan’s Labyrinth (Mexico)

Best Documentary Feature ~ An Inconvenient Truth

Best Cinematography ~ Children of Men

Best Film Editing ~ The Departed

Best Art Direction ~ Pan’s Labyrinth

Best Costume Design ~ Marie Antoinette

Best Makeup ~ Pan’s Labyrinth

Best Sound Editing ~ Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Best Sound Mixing ~ Dreamgirls

Best Visual Effects ~ Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Best Original Score ~ The Queen, Alexandre Desplat

Best Original Song ~ "Listen", Dreamgirls, By Krieger, Cutler, & Preven

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It's Friday...Laugh A Little

Conan does it again.


Sure, it's not laugh-out-loud funny, but there's just something about the way this guy "accidentally" rips down the map that gets me every time.


Thank you Daily Show for this hilarious version of the Little Richard Geico commercial. Classic.

Crash Test Dummies

This first video comes courtesy of tonight's episode of Countdown with Keith Olbermann...and, yes, it is OK to laugh at other people's misfortunes as long as they aren't seriously injured.


It's a 'Buy One, Get One Free' sale on idiot reporters crashing vehicles!

Four More Years!

No, I'm not talking about Bush...are you insane!?

I'm talking about the renewal of Keith Olbermann's MSNBC show Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Countdown has been renewed for four more years, until the year 2011, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Oh, wow, I just got the craziest idea...if Tony Snow, former Fox News employee, can be the White House Press Secretary for Bush than maybe, just maybe, Keith Olbermann will end up as the intelligent and witty Press Secretary of the 2008 Democratic President, who will likely be....hmmm....yeah, let me get back to you on that one in a few months (and by "few" I mean about ten).

Progress In New Jersey...Shame In Virginia

Today, New Jersey joins the growing list of communities interested in taking a step forward in the granting of equal rights to same-sex couples. Let's take a moment to recap where the various entities of the world stand on this issue...
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Countries currently performing same-sex marriages nationwide:

Netherlands (since 2001); Belgium (2003); Spain (2005); Canada (2005); South Africa (2006); Israel* (see below).

*Due to the fact that all marriages that take place in Israel are done through religious institutions that do not currently support same sex marriage, Israel does not actually perform same-sex marriages; however, in late 2006 the Supreme Court of Israel ordered the government to recognize same-sex marriages that took place abroad.

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Countries currently recognizing civil unions nationwide:

Denmark (since 1989); Norway (1993); Israel (1994); Sweden (1995); Greenland (1996); Hungary (1996); Iceland (1996); France (1999); Germany (2001); Portugal (2001); Finland (2002); Croatia (2003); Luxembourg (2004); Andorra (2005); New Zealand (2005); United Kingdom (2005); Czech Republic (2006); Slovenia (2006); Switzerland (2007).

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Countries currently debating the issues of same-sex marriages and/or civil unions:

Argentina; Aruba; Australia; Austria; Brazil; Chile; China; Colombia; Costa Rica; Estonia; France; Greece; Ireland; Italy; Latvia; Liechtenstein; Lithuania; Mexico; New Zealand; Poland; Portugal; Romania; Sweden; Taiwan; United Kingdom; United States; Uruguay.

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U.S. States currently performing same-sex marriages statewide:

Massachusetts (since 2004).
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U.S. States that have taken some form of action in either granting or moving towards granting same-sex marriages and/or civil unions:

California; Connecticut; Maryland; New York; New Jersey; Oregon; Vermont; Washington.
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U.S. States that have given their legislative bodies the authority to ban same-sex marriage:

Hawaii (in 1998).
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U.S. States that have banned same-sex marriage:

Alaska (since 1998); Nevada (2000/2002); Mississippi (2004); Missouri (2004); Montana (2004); Oregon (2004); Colorado (2006); Tennessee (2006).
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U.S. States that have banned same-sex marriage AND civil unions (but not "other contracts"):

Nebraska (since 2000); Alabama (2004); Arkansas (2004); Georgia (2004); Kentucky (2004); Louisiana (2004); Michigan (2004); North Dakota (2004); Ohio (2004); Oklahoma (2004); Utah (2004); Kansas (2005); Texas (2005); Idaho (2006); South Carolina (2006); South Dakota (2006); Wisconsin (2006).
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U.S. States that have banned same-sex marriage, civil unions, AND all "other contracts":

Virginia (in 2006).
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Can I Vote In Minnesota, Too?

It's very exciting to finally see Al Franken officially declare his candidacy for the U.S. Senate seat in Minnesota for the 2008 election. His declaration video perfectly demonstrates how Mr. Franken's intelligence, wit, and compassion will make him a very attractive candidate to Minnesota voters.

A note to political pundits on 24-hour news channels: when you scoff at the idea of Al Franken as a politician, and refer to him as "just some stand-up comic", you only make yourself look foolish. Yes, Al Franken is a comedian and was a cast member on Saturday Night Live from the late 70's to the early 90's. He's also a Harvard University graduate with a B.A. in government studies. He's also a political humorist with multiple best selling books, including two of my favorite reads of all times 'The Truth (with jokes)' and 'Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'. He's been heavily involved in USO tours for many years, traveling to Iraq several times over the past years to entertain the troops. And, most recently, he's been a radio talk show host for Air America, heading an admittedly liberal political talk show program.

So, without singling out any particular TV personalities (*cough* Tucker Carlson *cough*), when you mockingly talk about Al Franken's candidacy in comparison to other "celebrities" like Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Jesse Ventura, I think you need to do a little more homework first...I'm just not sure that it's accurate to compare Mr. Franken's political resume to individuals who's political qualifications include "blowing up terrorists in movies" and "wrestling with sweaty men while wearing spandex".

I'm Sold

I really wasn't sure if I wanted to shop at Flea Market Montgomery...and then I heard it was "just like a mini mall"!

(RED) With Love

Want to really make this a special Valentine's Day? Why don't you go to the Gap and buy something from their (RED) line of products? Fifty-percent of profits go to the Global Fund to help eliminate AIDS in Africa, an extremely worthy cause. There are a bunch of t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, jackets, bracelets, candles, belts, bags, hats, and a lot of other items that you can buy for your valentine (my fiance and I each have a t-shirt...by the way, 100% African cotton is very comfortable).

Be trendy...fight AIDS...Happy Valentines Day!

Is It Summer Yet?

It's so very cold in NJ right now. Of course, it could be worse...it could snow 100 inches like I did in Oswego County, NY this past week. Then again, I love snow...send some of that snow our way Oswego County!

[UPDATE: Good news! A "significant winter storm threat" is in effect from Monday into Wednesday...I knew I could count on you Oswego County!]

It's Either This or Norbit

I have to say, I'm a little surprised that the trailers I've seen for the movie Reno 911!: Miami, which is the movie version of the not-so-popular television series Reno 911!, are actually funny! It pretty much looks like a modern version of the Police Academy series...which could be good or bad, I'm really not sure. Regardless, there is a small chance that I just might see a matinee showing of this movie on an idle Saturday or Sunday afternoon with my fiance...probably not, but maybe.

Stuck In My Flathead

I don't know how they do it, but a healthy dose of kudos goes out to Apple for once again creating an iPod/iTunes commercial that is extremely catchy. Not only do I stop dead in my tracks every time the commercial comes on TV, but I've actually been motivated to the point of buying the song on iTunes (which is the song 'Flathead' by The Fratellis). I'm warning you...once you watch this commercial, there's no turning back.

I Want The Samsung BlackJack

Please?

A Different Kind of Poll

Wow...Satan really needs to step up his game.

Boston Market, Trimspa, and Bio-Dome...Read On

Apparently I've been somewhat sensitive to advertising lately because I actually have enough advertisement-related complaining to make a post.

First, I present to you the following graphic that Boston Market has recently added to their advertisements:

Ok, so take a moment to let this graphic set in...'Boston Market: Established Since 1985'. Wow, established since 1985!? Well GOSH, that is really an achievement to be proud of, Boston Market. You were "established" before George H. W. Bush was president, before the Nintendo Entertainment System became popular, before Vanilla Ice! Boston Market, you've really dug your culinary roots deep into the heart and soul of American society over the past 22 years, haven't you? HA, what a joke! Look, Boston Market, you can't just throw the term "established" around and expect us to take it seriously when you put the year "1985" below it. The Ford Motor Company is "established" (since 1903); Macy's is "established" (since 1858); hell, even the toxic fast-food chain McDonald's is "established" (since 1940). But you, Boston Market...well, you're just craptacular.

The second target of my advertisement anger is none other than every weight loss company out there (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Trimspa, NutriSystem, etc.). Setting aside the fact that anyone who actually sinks money into one of these scams is pretty gullible, I think it's time we stop allowing companies like this to include the phrase "Results not typical" on their ads. "Results not typical"!? Then why the hell should anyone use your product!? If only 1 out of 100 people actually lose 20 pounds from eating your horrible food or sticking to your crazy points system, then isn't the entire premise of your product a tad misleading? Can you imagine this standard being applied to other goods and services...you go to a movie theater and buy a ticket to see The Departed, but when you take your seat inside the theater the movie Bio-Dome starts playing; unfortunately, even though the commercial said The Departed was playing in theaters it also stated in small, fine print that "Results not typical", so only 1 out of 100 movie screens are showing The Departed. Of course, this analogy somewhat falls apart when you consider that not losing weight as promised is a far better outcome than being presented with Bio-Dome when promised The Departed...to be quite honest, I'd agree to pack on 5 or 10 pounds if I could be certain that Bio-Dome would never be shown again.

Pauly Shore mocking aside, that's all the rage I have against advertising...for now.