The Day The Stern World Stood Still

Unbelievable...and, yet, largely fated. Anybody who's been listening to The Howard Stern Show over the past six months wholly knew that someday Artie Lang was going to have some kind of an episode that would qualify as 'hitting rock bottom'. However, I don't think anyone could have predicted it would happen quite like this (listening to the usually-jubilant Robin Quivers screaming in outrage sends chills down my neck).

And, to make this historic Stern moment all the more surreal, the show is now currently on a planned one-week vacation (scheduled to resume on Monday the 21st), leaving us with endless questions: Is Artie really gone for good? If so, how long will it be before he ends up in rehab, or in the hospital, or worse? How exactly will Howard, Robin, Fred, Gary, etc. approach all of this when the show returns? What about Artie's upcoming scheduled trips to the bachelor party in Amsterdam and the USO Show in Iraq? Who will replace Artie, if anyone? Will it be fan-favorite George Takei? Please can it be fan-favorite George Takei!?

Amazingly, I actually heard the first ten seconds of this tragedy live on my Sirius radio as I was driving to work this morning. Little did I know that mere moments after I turned my car off, all hell was breaking loose in the Stern studio. Regardless, I, and millions more, will be spending the next ten days pondering endlessly if Thursday, April 10th will go down in Howard Stern Show history as the last day Artie Lang, cupcakes and Hawaiian Punch in hand, walked through that famous studio door and sat down to serve as a member of one of the most elite radio families in the history of broadcasting...and then fell asleep.