1. Cease biting finger nails once and for all.
[Yep, I finally did it. The experience of trimming my fingernails for the first time in 29 years of existence was quite surreal.]
2. Visit a national park.
[Hoped to visit Ellis Island for the first time, but never made it. And now, due to damage from the hurricane, the island is closed indefinitely.]
3. Write twenty-five pages of anything.
[It seems the countless hours of "writing" I've done in my head while lying awake at night don't count, unfortunately.]
4. Be less frustrated by small issues.
[I really tried, honestly, but then somebody incorrectly uses the word 'infamous' in a Facebook post, and I'm left seething with rage.]
5. Adopt a dog.
[Our community association does not allow dog ownership. Our community association does allow cat ownership. This makes me very, very upset.]
6. Help re-elect President Obama.
[A donation here, a campaign phone call there, and boom: four more years!]
7. Scan collection of childhood photos.
[No way my outdated scanner would have been up to the task. And to be honest, there's something special about having a bunch of old shoeboxes brimming with photos tucked away under the bed.
8. Watch all seasons of Mad Men and/or Breaking Bad.
[And Mad Men instantly moves to the top tier of my favorite television series of all time.]
9. Donate blood.
[Just hours prior to my scheduled appointment, I discovered I was ineligible to donate this year (and possibly beyond). A monetary donation to the American Red Cross would have to suffice.]
10. Complete half of these resolutions by June 30th.
[Not quite, but that's the beauty of making all these resolutions: underperforming still yields good results. Like ending a lifelong bad habit.]
