There's Only Room For One Of Us In This Town...

'Onion News Video Linked To Area Man Pants Peeing Incident'

Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex

And They Said It Couldn't Be Done

With an unprecedented second half of the season,

the Yankees are going to the playoffs!

Say No To Plato*

*The blog site 'Funny Because It's True', heretofore referred to as FBIT Inc., maintains sole copyright ownership of the phrase 'Say No To Plato', including any and all graphical representations of said phrase. All reproductions of said phrase for any and all purposes (including trendy t-shirts sold at NYC Urban Outfitters) will require the expressed written consent of FBIT Inc. and all appropriate subsidiaries of said entity...don't steal my shit.

ONE GAME AWAY!

Oh, The Horror, Entertainment Weekly!

Taking a page from the Cooper Playbook, I think it's about time I declare Entertainment Weekly, a once reliable information source for all segments of the entertainment industry...dead to me. That's right, EW, you've burned me for the last time. I didn't mind when you added some cheesy sections to the magazine ('Obsessive Fan of the Week'...yikes). I can handle a useless list of the 'Top 50 Movies Featuring a Dog' every now and then. I can even stomach an unimaginably horrible Scott Brown writing the once humorous 'Hit List' each week. But I'm not about to stand by while you morph my once-respected magazine into some 99 cent supermarket tabloid!

There, I finally said it. Fortunately, I only have about a few hundred issues or so left on my subscription so I won't have to deal with this nonsense for much longer. After 2011, it's bye bye Entertainment Weekly for me......unless, of course, they offer another 66% discount off the newsstand price. Come on, that just makes economic sense!

The Emmy's Were Really, Really [CENSORED]

Good!

• 30 Rock for Comedy Series
• The Sopranos for Drama Series
• Ricky Gervais for Best Actor, Comedy
• Terry O'Quinn for Best Supporting Actor, Drama
• Jeremy Piven for Best Supporting Actor, Comedy
• The Sopranos for Writing, Drama ('Made in America')
  

Bad!

• America Ferrera for Best Actress, Comedy
• James Spader for Best Actor, Drama
• Katherine Heigl for Best Supporting Actress, Drama
• Jaime Pressly for Best Supporting Actress, Comedy
• Sally Field for Best Actress, Drama
• Tony Bennett for...every award ever!

A Dog And His Pool

This dog is so funny, he's not just hilarious,
he's......(wait for it)......HI-larious!

It's The End Of The Summer As We Know It

With about 500+ pages of reading to do for this week's grad school classes, I'd say it's about time to sound the horn for the official end of the summer movie season.

In between Yankee games, beach trips, and crappy summer television, I managed to see just nine of the season's movies (with two viewings of 'The Simpsons', one of my summer favorites), far below what I wish I could have achieved. If I didn't value my relationship with my fiance as I do, I would have gone to the theater to see 'Shrek The Third', 'Ocean's 13', 'A Mighty Heart', 'Ratatouille', 'Rescue Dawn', 'Live Free or Die Hard', 'No End In Sight', 'Hairspray', and 'The Bourne Ultimatum' (I'll thank DVD technology, Netflix, and HBO in advance for providing me the wonderful opportunity to see these movies at a later time of my choosing).

I know how much everyone's been talking about my summer movie reviews, so here's a recap just in case you didn't catch them the first time around (with the late addition of 'Superbad, which I finally got around to seeing last night):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knocked Up ......................... A+
"It is undeniable that Knocked Up is the must-see comedy of the summer."

Sicko ......................... A
"A gut-wrenching, dramatic documentary...so compelling you'll want to both lend a helping hand to your neighbor and march on Washington D.C. as the credits begin to roll."

The Simpsons Movie ......................... A-
"The Simpsons Movie had some of the highest expectation to meet this summer, and it successfully met those expectations."

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix .................... B+
"Even if I can't stop thinking about how it's all going to end, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is one of the better, darker entries of the Potter movie series."

Transformers ......................... B
"Transformers is all about the fun, simple visceral movie experience meant to be released during the sweltering July heat."

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End .................... B-

"At World's End stumbles far too often to be considered a great movie, or maybe even a good one, but you can't help but feel like the adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow and Company made for an overall fun ride while they lasted."

28 Weeks Later ......................... C+
"28 Weeks Later is artistic and somewhat thought provoking, yet it doesn't quite evolve as effectively as movie franchises are expected to do in their second outings."

Spider-Man 3 ......................... C
"Easily inferior to it's predecessors, Spider-man 3 is a box office record-setting behemoth that disappoints on so many levels."

Superbad ......................... C
"Unfortunately, 'Superbad is an immature comedy with 75% immaturity and 25% comedy. I wouldn't say it's 'superbad', but it's easily one of the more over-hyped movies of recent memory."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two For Two For RU

The Good...A forceful offense, especially the 110% improvement of Mike Teel over last year, as well as the ever-unstoppable Ray Rice and skilled receivers Underwood and Britt.

The Bad...A defense that still has more work to do before the tough games, especially involving the 'How To Stop Receiving Penalties Every Play' lesson (11 penalties for 100 yards...that could be deadly with a better team, especially when the penalties are occurring during 4th down punts).

The Conclusion...GO RU!

Decision Making Not The Senator's Strong Suit

First he plead guilty regarding his alleged bathroom escapade, and then decided that he made a mistake and should have plead 'not guilty'. Then, Senator Larry Craig announced he will resign effective September 30th, yet now he is reportedly reconsidering his resignation after realizing he may have been too hasty. Senator Craig can attempt to mask his true sexual preference, but there's one thing this guy just can't hide: he's horrible at making decision!

P.S. Hey Senator Craig, just a little advice for you...When your political scandal involves being criminally charged with lewd behavior in a public restroom, you might want to reconsider wearing a coat that makes it look like you're just seconds away from flashing the crowd. Just trying to help out.